It has took me almost a year to sit down and write this letter to you. Its hard, because when I think of you I get a sharp little pain in my heart The part that died the day you was born an angel

I remember the day your daddy was born
we were young and so proud, he was the completion of our family.

We spoiled him rotten, with him being the youngest.

I remember when he became so sick at 6 weeks old, and we were told he needed heart surgery. I never thought I would be as scared and helpless than that But, on the night you were born I felt so helpless, so scared So lost and hurt

There I was, holding you in my arms My first grandson!!!! So perfect, lots of hair, you looked so peaceful I wanted to hold you forever So many thoughts were going thru my head I felt proud, sad, and so lost

But the worst was the guilt Why hadn’t I done more?

When I go to bed everynight I ask God in a little prayer to please look over you and keep you safe and warm and for him to look after your daddy too I know he is hurting too also

I want those hours back with you so bad I want to look at your face, hold you close I want to talk to you I just want to wake up and find out that this was all a bad nightmare

Everyday I look at your picture and I pray that your looking down at us

I know there will be other grandchildren down the road in our life But none so special in my heart Little Lane

You will always be my first grandchild My first grandbaby and now your my little grandangel

Rest in Peace my baby Lane

Grandma loves you so much

The world didn't stop for me today, they just went about their way

They don't know the pain I'm feeling inside, as I get down on my knees and pray

Today its been a whole long year,
since in Heaven you went to rest,

I've had lots of angry, bitter days but
I know God only takes the best

I know in Heaven there is a certain place,
where there is a special room,

And in it is where all the youngest buds,
are put there so they can bloom

The angels are their protectors, and
God nourishes them with His love

And on days after a long hard rain,
you can see the rainbow above

Each color is for one small child and
Lane, I know yours is blue

So everytime I see one,
I'll smile and think of memories of you

I love and miss you my little Lane

Some people only dream of seeing an angel

We've actually held one