Hi, my name is Cindy and this page was made by a dear friend in loving memory of my precious grandsons Ryan and Travis Berlin.

We lost both of them in a car accident on December 9, 2000, as their mother and them were going to the grocery store for us. We had just spent a fun filled day at an annual Christmas party we attended every year since Ryan was two years old.

It was the one most difficult thing I ever had to do in my life.

Ryan was our firstborn grandson and spent more time with us than his brother did but I loved them all the same. It took me well over a year to somehow pick up the pieces of my life and try to live without their physical selves altho I do keep their spiritual lives very much a part of our family.

We remember them on their birthdays and holidays. Ryan was nine years old and Travis was five years old, now tomorrow on March 22, 2006, Travis will have his fifth Heavenly Birthday Party and would he would be eleven.

I miss them so much and there are so many nights that I wake up just knowing they came to me in a dream. Their pictures are still displayed upon my walls as they were when they passed.

I embrace the day when my task on earth is finished and I can once again be with them. They will forever be missed by us all but shall never be forgotten by any of us.

Right now what I have a difficult time with are "the whats: such as what would they look like, what would their interests be, would they be sports jocks and would Ryan be interested in girls.

I also think of the graduations we shall miss as well as the weddings, births and visits to us when we are old and frail and rely on family to come to us as we age.

I just needed more time with them. I miss their laughter, hugs, and their little tricks they would pull on us.

I miss walking into their rooms at night and watching them lie asleep looking like little cherubs. I miss the going to school plays and musicals with them and seeing them as they perform for an audience.

Really I just miss all of the things that I find so many parents taking for granted never realizing just how short life really can be.

Winter Flower

One time when I was on my path
A roadside flower caught my eye.
And slowing down,I looked with awe.
He found me,and did not have to try.

My heart within would warm with joy
When looking, He took on much more
Beauty than had first appeared.
His purity had been his lure.

What got me had not been his size,
For He seemed to not yet come to be
But 'twas His colors amidst the dark
That shone about and spoke of He.

Though blemishes were here and there
(as happens more frequest than not),
His colors stood out just the same;
Did not diminish by a blot

I saw a leaf upon the stem
That looked just like an upraised hand
Or maybe one outstretched to help
A passerby within the land.

As I was awed by what I saw,
An eastward wind brought forth the cold
And taking cue like all such plants
The flower did as he was told

The coming age of winter frost
Had claimed the flower as I stood.
Its petals fell down one by one
And upraised hand no longer could

Some choose to mourn for such as Him
Who seemed to come and go too fast.
Others looked to what he was
To praise the colors while they last.

As for me, a greater comfort
Warms me 'midst this bitter cold.
A secret lies in God's intentions,
A truth He spoke from ages old.

He never meant for this young life
To come and go and pass ephemeral.
My tears dried up the day I learned
This life, with Him, would be perrenial.

Written by Michael Joseph Lawrence ©
The son of Ryan's third grade teacher

Heaven's Playground

When children go to Heaven
What do they do all day
Is there someone up there for them
To join with them in play?

Will there be someone to hold them
And cuddle them with love
Will they teach them how to fly
With the Angels up above

I think I know the answer
And it fills my heart with joy
A place called Heaven's Playground
For every girl and boy

There's Angels blowing bubbles
And music fills the air
Tiny pups to play with
I know they're happy there

Charlotte Anselmo