Oh, how I would love to see you and touch you...

Grandma misses you so.

I know your being taken good care of but its still so hard.

Daddy misses you too he talks about you alot...

He's even getting you a birthday cake tomorrow!!

I found it really hard to sit and write this letter to you Lane...

It seems to get harder and harder every year.

You have three new little cousins now, Aeris, Brodie, and Maverick...

And Lane, I see so much of you in them, especially your new little cousin Maverick.

I look at them, and it makes my heart sad knowing you should be here amoung them also...

Alot of people think, that after awhile, the pain fades away...

I don't get mad at them Lane...

I understand, because they have never lost a grandchild, and I pray they never do...,

Its a pain that cuts so deep into your heart, that it never heals...

Everyday, I look at your picture and wonder how you are, and if your okay....

And Everynight, I ask God to look over you...

And Lane, I know you watch over your daddy, cause he has felt you with him many times...

So I wanted to tell you little one, Happy Birthday, and know that Grandma loves you very much and always will....

A friend from England sent me this poem, and it pretty well sums up how i feel....

I Miss You So Much

People try to help me
And everyone's so kind,
But no matter what they say to me
I always seem to find.

I start to get upset again
They can see it in my face,
I wonder how they'd handle it
If they were in my place.

They look at me with sympathy
In a caring sort of way,
I thank them and attempt a smile
then as I walk away.

The tears start welling up again
Every time it's the same,
I simply fall to pieces
At the mention of your name.

Author - Alan G.

I love you Lane......
Happy birthday.....

Grandma Patty

March 12, 2004