Christmas Without You

Our second Christmas without you Lane, is approaching quickly.

I don't look toward the holidays with the zest that I used to have.

When we lost you, it seemed like i would never be happy again.

The first Christmas was spent with putting on smiles for family members when my heart was really breaking everyday.

I kept finding myself looking at toys and baby stuff as I shopped, making me just go home feeling an emptiness inside.

We didn't put a tree up in our house that Christmas, instead we spent our day putting a little tree on your graveside and decorating it with little bulbs and ribbons.

Christmas is usually spent with people bustling around talking and laughing, but where we visit our little angel, its quiet, no sounds and you can hear the snow falling on the ground

A place where no little child should have to stay.

The holidays left us feeling empty instead of happy

Now we are approaching our second Christmas without you Lane, and you know what?

I still feel as empty inside my heart for you as ever

I keep finding myself looking at people that have little kids that would be about your age right now, and it really hurts.

We have welcomed a new little grandaughter into our lives, and I love her with all my heart

But there is and always will be that hole in my heart that will never heal from the day you left us Lane.

You would love your new little cousin, she even looks like you when she is sleeping.

How I wish I could have both of you to hold this Christmas

People just don't understand the death of a child unless they have experienced it

A pain that just never goes away

So, I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas, my little Lane

I know you can't be here with me, but I want you to know that you will be alive in my heart on Christmas and everyday

Grandma loves you

Please do not remove the Christmas tree from this page
it belongs to Lane