Christmas 2005

Three Years Without You

Well, the holidays are approaching once again, and once again, I’m thinking of what I want to put on your grave

The leaves are turning colors and kids are trick or treating. Snow starts to fall gently on the ground and they are making snowmen and tasting snowflakes and visiting Santa Claus

All things that I will never get to experience with you little Lane.

Yes, I love spending time with the other grandkids. They make me smile and fill my heart with so much laughter and love. But there is always that little empty feeling. Wishing you were there with them to show them the ropes. After all, you would be a big boy at three now!

Climbing up on grandpa’s lap and eating macaroni and cheese. Going for wagon rides and watching cartoons and Disney movies. Every time I see a little one around three years old, I have to just look away. Its too hard still.

I wonder what you would look like now. Would you have your daddy’s smile, or his devilish ways? Would you have your mommy’s laugh I know one thing that you would have, Your grandma’s heart

So with every Christmas carol I hear this year and every bell I hear chime and every time I hear little kids laughing as they play in the snow it reminds me of days I won’t have with you.

So, Lane, I will hang your ornament on the tree again this year and I will put a little tree on your grave. And in my heart, I will wish you a merry Christmas again in Heaven. I want you know that you will be in my heart Christmas and everyday till we are together again.

Love you Lane,



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